Jan 17, 2008 | 8:50 PM
Category:
Entertainment
I really don't get all excited about this stupid show (American Idol) even though (because of my wife) I never miss it. Honestly, I'd rather be watching Globe Trekker on PBS; or reading my new book of Emily Dickinson's ethereal, sublime poetry. If that sounds lame to you, well Emily wrote a little something about you when she said in one of her many works; "Much madness is divinest sense - To a discerning eye - Much sense - the starkest madness..."
But - believe it or not - there's something very profound about American Idol; if you'd just hear me out.
This show has been on for seven seasons. So, you would think that after seven seasons that everyone involved would fully understand that if you are to avoid mocking only outdone by the majority of the crowd at the tenement of Golgotha on the day Christ was crucified, that you have to be more than able to sing; you actually have to be good...well...most of the time. But if you are a Sanjaya, you may wind up wishing that you never received one of those highly sought-after "golden tickets", as the mocking on that end becomes much more widespread and memorable.
But clearly, while many American Idol contestants may have 'received the memo' about how it all goes down when you stand in front of the 'Sanhedrin of singers', they're obviously either in some unparalleled denial about their lack of talent, or they are just plain masochistic.
But I can't help but wonder, just how many people (like the clueless contestants of American Idol) are there in the world? Frankly, the flood of - in essence - retarded people out there never ceases to amaze me. How on earth does this society even function with so many of these people being a part of it? You may think that I'm being sardonic, surly, or that I'm trying to be "funny", but actually I'm being quite serious. Before I started watching American Idol, I never really knew the degree of stupidity of so many, and really...it astonishes me. Just what in the heck do all of these people do with themselves? How do they function? How did they get that way?
I recall one contestant - one of the absolute worst - say (quite sadly) that his father has long told him (quite seriously) that he "hates" him. This was a very damaged individual. He carried his baggage around with him, and I felt terrible for the guy. The editing of the show and the whole vibe set a tone of "ha-ha...look at this loser", but I wasn't laughing. He sung Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer" like you would imagine a person who just woke up from a coma after having a lobotomy might. His countenance was so heavy, and it was absolutely ugly - not funny.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to come off like a sanctimonious prig. I laughed at some of the God-awful singing. But I wasn't laughing at the person behind the singing - only the hilarious sounds that some of them make.
But so many people just delight in how gauche the majority of American Idol contestants are. I don't. When you really think about it, it's no laughing matter. What we're seeing on this show is a sick society, and I'm not just talking about the symptoms exhibited by so many of the contestants; but those who get their own perverse little self-esteem boost by exalting themselves over the many 'jesters' that go before the triumvirate of Randy, Paula, and Simon. I think I get my own little De facto self-esteem boost by the realization that I am not on either side. ...Thank God...