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Kim_Carrigan's Blog

by Kim_Carrigan from Dedham, MA

Last Post 3 hours Ago


Hello Fellow Bloggers,

Have you heard what is happening at Gloucester High School?  It's been reported that 17 girls are pregnant.  That's up from four in the average school year. 

Four in the average year???!!!!  Are you kidding me?  This is 2008, why are little girls getting pregnant?  We all know how it happens... and we all know that parents should be involved... but lets say they aren't.  Don't kids have enough education to know how to avoid getting pregnant?  Apparently not!

In Gloucester, school health officials had suggested confidentially giving out birth control pills.  That idea was met with resistance by the hospital that administers the money for this kind of thing.  Actually, I don't think that's the answer anyway.  I don't want someone giving my daughter a prescription without me knowing.

But how about some education for these kids and their parents.  How about mandatory sessions for all kids and parents to talk about sex and pregnancy.  Maybe this would force parents to talk to their kids.  Maybe this would force parents to take more responsiblity.

I know this is a tough subject for lots of people to deal with, but when your daughter comes home pregnant at 16... it's a lot tougher subject then.

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Member Comments Total Comments: 27
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Chip read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 12:44 PM

It is not an easy subject...but it is still a parent's responsibility. It seems that the more schools and government stand in for parents, the less effective parenting goes on.

Do you know that your kids can go to a school counselor and knowledge of the content of the sessions, going both ways, is not a parents right? That they are not even required to tell you if your child is in extreme distress?

I think it is time to acknowledge that our government, with its anti-parent philosopies, is ruining otherwise goood kids.

jonsmom read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 1:08 PM

You know, there is only so much a parent can do. We preach the dangers of having unprotected sex to our children (hopefully). We hope it sinks in. We are not with our children 24/7. We have no way of controlling what they do when they are not with us. Education is very important and should start at home. Talking about sex, self respect, respecting others and the possible consequences should all be part of the education. However, education is not always enough. When my kids were little I wouldn't let them ride their bike without wearing a helmet. I explained the dangers, showed them stories of kids getting injured, etc. When they rode off down the street, they took off their helmets. Teens are kids. They care more about what the other kids say than what their parents say. I'm not saying give out birth control in school. I mean kids can't even carry aspirin and they want to give out prescription meds without parental permission? Not right. I just wanted to make the point that education isn't always enough.

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 3:08 PM

jonsmom, Chip,

I agree with you both. It is simply impossible to look over teens 24/7 so all a parent can do is do their best. Talk, explain, show. All kids have to do today is look around them to see the consequences, so ignorance is no longer an excuse. I do think some parents (because of love of course) are too soft. I have a step-cousin who had a child at 17. The child is now 6 and has been raised by my cousin's mother. Yep. I feel if they are 'mature' enough to do the deed, they should be 'mature' enough to pay the consequences in all it's glory. As long as it's relatively easy (with the help of parents), kids are going to continue being irresponsible. I also know a young lady (no relation) who has 3 kids (2 different fathers) and is living at home with her parents. What did she tell my friend recently? "I can't wait to have another baby. They're so cute!!!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!

jovanone read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 4:22 PM

Kids today know more about having sex at such an early age then we’re willing to give them credit for. They know all about having sex long before we can sit them down and explain to them about the consequences. The problem is they’re not responsible enough to have kids no matter how many times we tell them this. Unfortunately in their little heads they think they are. In today’s day and age it’s almost an impossible task to get that point across to some of these kids. You just have to keep your fingers crossed and hope to God they’ve listened to you and make the right decision.

All the education in the world isn’t going to help any of these kids if THEIR not willing to make the right decision and take the right precautions. These kids today are smart enough to do it, it’s just a question of whether their willing to do it.

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 5:05 PM

Jovanone,

I don't think they believe they are ready to have kids (some do though - YIKES), but for 99% of them, I would say the problem is the "It can't happen to me" mentality. They don't think it can happen to them, that they are, somehow, the exception to the reproduction rule. Well, we all know they are NOT, but it is getting THAT fact across that I believe it's the most difficult thing. At the very least, it is easy for kids to get their hands on condoms (dear God, I can't believe I just wrote that sentence!) so really taking chances is not an option. Not to mention, that pregnancy is the tamest of the consequences. With the number of diseases out there, including the Numero Uno...AIDS...it is absolutely frightening that they are having unprotected sex.

jovanone read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 6:47 PM

June,

I think these young girls listen too much to their boyfriends telling them "don't worry I'm not going to get you pregnant, it’s going to be o.k." and then, oops, too late. This is the time for the girl to listen to that little voice inside and say "I believe you, but, let’s use protection anyway". I know it's a tough decision for them to make, but, it's something THEY both have to do. They have to forget that "It can't happen to me" mentality and do the right thing.

It's hard to believe that anyone not just high school kids would have unprotected sex with like you said "the number of diseases out there, including the Numero Uno...AIDS"...

fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 8:28 PM

HELLO, It takes two to tango and if the girl is dumb enough to fall for that line I'm not going to get you pregnant then they deserve what they get. There is no such thing. All those cliches "it only takes once" and others may sound stupid, but boy how true. As for the school dispenceing drugs, what happens when that first girl has some kind of reaction and she's on the floor doing whirlies with her tongue hanging out her mouth. Dane Shulman don't go far from that phone. And Chip I may be wrong, but if a person say's to a counselor they are going to harm themselve or someone else, it's their duty to notify the proper authorities. It depends on what that extreme distress is about.

jonsmom read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 8:36 PM

I like when the boys say "it won't happen the first time". That's what parents have to teach their kids. That they can't listen to the boys and girls who have "experience". They have to listen to the adults. Read books. Too many lives are affected. I have boys and they were all taught what the consequences are. So far so good but who knows what will happen? At least they're all in their twenties now. It's a little different.

fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 8:52 PM

Jonsmom, They made it to their twenties with little or no major troubles, give yourself a nice pat on the back. I don't envy parents raising kids, it's a crap shoot.

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 10:49 PM

I don't know guys, but....when I was a teen (10-12 years ago), I was more afraid of what my parents would do to me than what any boy would think. Now, let me clarify, my parents were not violent people. They never went beyond the usual swat on the rear end, but I knew my punishment would just not be worth whatever I was being talked into doing. Not to mention that I knew my parents well. I knew if I got 'in trouble', I was on my own for sure! No ifs, ands or buts about that. My mother was not going to be raising any child of mine. I was going to have to be QUICK about figuring that one out. I KNEW this. I'm 27, married, stable job and stable home and I'm STILL holding out a little longer. The responsibility is HUGE! My mother drove that home.

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 10:53 PM

cont.

and STILL, the possibility of an STD is still more frightening to me as far as these kids go (or anyone else for that matter) than any pregnancy. As bad as a teen pregnancy is, a disease is still the scarier consequence. Perhaps kids need to be taken on a tour of an AIDS ward? That may be insensitive, but I don't know what else could be done. This is a serious matter. I had an uncle pass away from HIV in 1996. I was told he didn't even look human anymore at the end. I refused to see him. I wanted to remember him as he was, not as what he became. It's not a light matter here.

fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 10:59 PM

June , you have enough on your hands with those two in the picture. By the way, How is the house hunting going? With todays report, you should have the pick of what ever you want.

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 11:33 PM

You would think, wouldn't you fenway? Well, that would be a separate blog, but I will tell you this: House sales are low because banks who hold foreclosures and short sales are out playing a 'fun' little game with buyers. This is going to get uglier. I've left the playing field for the time being. Things in this country are economically bad. It may be wise to wait.

As for my fur babies, they are doing well. Garfield got a lion's haircut this weekend (matted fur) and he is currently mad at me. He will get over it. LOL!

fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
May 27, 2008 | 11:44 PM

There's a nice 2 bedroom in my building for 450 thousand. Should I put you down for 2?

JuneInMA read my blog view my photos
May 28, 2008 | 12:00 AM

Dear Sweet Jesus!!! $450K!! No way!! It goes against everything I believe in to pay that much for a condo. LOL!

Chip read my blog view my photos
May 28, 2008 | 5:42 AM

fenwaydav,

It is the standard of practice to react, with evaluation for hospitalization, to homicidality and/or suicidality. However, the folks who are doing this "counseling" are not licensed to do it!!! They are guidance counselors, trained in a different specialty, and licensed to perform different duties. It's alot like having your electrician install the plumbing in yur new house....you might end up, as Curley Howard so aptly put it: "Hey Moe, no wonder this plumbin' don't work....there's WIRES in it!!"

But let's look at more mundane counseling issues. Let's say a child is having problems with a parent's authority. That child goes to the guidance counselor to chat. By what he is told, he ascertains the parent is too strict...getting the point? Here's the sure fire way to begin down the road to teen pregnancy...our original subject.

fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
May 28, 2008 | 6:22 AM

Chip, I remember in my younger days in high school, I saw a guidance counselor. She was this sweet old lady (must have been about 40) her name was Mrs. Snow. I went to her for I don't even remember why, but she wound up telling my parts I was manipulating her. That lead to a life time of distrusting adults and lead me on a path of destruction. I never became pregnant, but had I been a girl I know I surely would have been.

Chip read my blog view my photos
May 28, 2008 | 7:47 AM

Good intentions alone are insufficient, fenwaydav. What is the ONLY acceptable route is good intentions, melded with some degree of technology (a theory based at least loosely in science), the outcome of which is tested for significance.

campingmom21 read my blog
May 28, 2008 | 9:46 AM

If you take the resource away from them then Yes your going to have a lot more then 17 girls pregnant. I'm not saying let them have sex. What I am saying is EDUCATE them on it. Show and teach them how to be responsible about it.

First of all they are going to have sex no matter what you say. So lets give them the opptions they are asking for. Educate them about safe sex and some options for them to talk to there parents about and if they can't talk to the parents then let them talk to someone they can trust. By the kids asking about contraceptives they are acting like adults. I'm not saying write them out a script for the pill but remember a teenager can get the "Plan B" or get an abortion WITHOUT any parents consent

Chip read my blog view my photos
May 28, 2008 | 10:04 AM

The other thing we have to address is the whole social welfare root cause of this, and many other of our prevalent problems. Our well intentioned, yet hopelessly flawed social welfare policy has stripped from our culture the natural consequences of behavior. Until we allow consequences (read that...the natural result) of behavior to be experienced, why would we expect behavior to change?

The dessemination of BC just amkes it all worse in the long run, while trying to stop the consequence of behavior in the short run. When I grew up (in the Dark Ages), there was an old saying boys used to say: "When yu make the deposit, you have to be willing to accept the delivery." We understood and changed out behavior to conform with our desire not to suffer the consequence.

Let me ask you all this: If a teenager does not have the impulse control to deny themselves sexual gratification, what are the odds they will have the impulse control to effectively use birth control?

The answer t this question is hidden in the facts of the Gloucester story...17 teen pregnancies in a school WITH the clinic on site....remember, the hospital made them STOP...

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Kim_Carrigan

I anchor the FOX25 Morning News every weekday morning from 5 a.m. to 9 a.m.

Member Since: 2/17/2007