Nick_Dussault's Blog

Does anyone else think that Simon was in a particularly bad mood last night? Every time the camera caught him when he wasn’t “judging” he had the most bored, irascible look on his face. And then there’s his body language. I’m no expert but it looks to me like everyone’s favorite tart-tongued Brit has just about had it with “American Idol.” Even his usual plethora of pithy remarks was noticeably infrequent on Tony Bennett night. Let’s hope he was just having an off night…wouldn’t be much of a show without him.

Cowell aside, it wasn’t really much of a show last night anyway. Show biz legend Tony Bennett mentored the aspiring Idols who went to the Great American Song Book for material as they vied for one of the coveted eight slots in next week’s Latin music competition. The problem with the standards is that you have to be able to sing them in order to sound great. There’s no gimmickry, dance moves or special effects to mask flawed vocals in this genre and as a result last night proved that there are three superb singers in this competition. The good news for the other five is that although this professes to be a singing competition, there’s a heavy dose of popularity involved as well. If it were strictly singing, Melinda, Jordin and my girl Kiki would be battling it out for the title as the also rans made their way back to nowhere land.

Blake Lewis kicked off the competition with a rendition of “Mack the Knife” that the judges seemed to love. Even pissy Simon told the beat boxer “you performed it well.” Randy muttered something that seemed fairly indecipherable until Paula called him a “hip cat.” Straight up, Paula. As for me, I was bored. He should’ve listened to Tony Bennett’s advice about knowing what the song’s about. Macheath is a lurid, creepy slimeball who cuts people’s throats for fun. Blake was bouncing around trying too hard and coming across as a lounge lizard proving that he’s much more of an entertainer than a singer.

Phil Stacy, on the other hand, has bigger issues to deal with today than whether he’s a singer or an entertainer. Despite an impressive attempt at recovering from an awful outing by saying he was focused on his wife throughout his abysmal rendition of “Night and Day,” the David Koresh look-alike should spend the day packing. Only an act of God, or perhaps a mammoth faux pas by Stern fans and votefortheworst.com could possibly save this guy. He bet Chris Sligh fifty bucks that he would go home last week. He lost. Let’s hope he went double or nothing for this week. Feels like a sure thing. Simon hit the nail on the head when he said “it had all the joy of somebody singing in a funeral parlor.” Ask not for whom the bell tolls, methinks it tolls for Phil Stacy tonight at 9.

It was like pouring salt on a wound for the poor guy when Melinda Doolittle followed his debacle with a superb rendition of “I’ve Got Rhythm.” Clearly, there’s a wealth of Melinda friendly material in this genre and she made a great choice with the Irving Berlin classic. Randy called her performance a “lesson in singing.” Paula mumbled something about a “master class.” Simon called the first half of it “a bit cabaret.” Of course it is. Apparently Cowell doesn’t like cabaret even when it’s supposed to be cabaret. Somebody give him a sip from Paula’s cup, please.

I think they all must’ve had a sip or two before they proffered their two cents worth on Chris Robinson’s “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.” When he met with Tony Bennett he hadn’t even learned the lyrics. How bad does this kid want this? First of all, there aren’t a lot of lyrics to this song. And secondly, you’re meeting with one of the music world’s greatest legends and you didn’t learn the lyrics? Big Mama ought to beat his behind when she gets ahold of him. Hopefully she’ll whop the triumvirate as well. They actually liked it. Randy called it his “best performance of the season.” Paula said he made it “hip and so cool.” Really? And Simon agreed with them. Somebody up there likes this kid but after this, I’m betting it’s not Duke Ellington.

Unlike Chris, Jordin Sparks is making all the right moves as she chases that million dollar recording contract like it’s worth a million bucks. Poised, confident and upbeat, the 17-year old delivered “On A Clear Day” just the way it’s supposed to be. Randy actually used the word the instead of da when he said “that was the bomb.” Paula was so overcome she proclaimed “I’m just so friggin proud of you.” Simon said it was “old-fashioned.” In this case that’s not a bad thing.

Rocker chick Gina Glocksen delivered what I thought was a very touching rendition of Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile.” Paula called it “understated, beautiful and seductive.” Randy said it was “a very nice, controlled performance.” Simon went on the attack when he snidely remarked, “I can’t rave about the vocals. Two girls came out before you and outsang you.” Perhaps they did, but there are eight slots in next week’s competition and Gina deserves one. She may not be in the top three, but she definitely belongs in the top five.

Another surefire entry into the top five is, drum roll please, Sanjaya. Huge kudos to the guy who said he’s the next Michael Jackson. Talk about hitting the nail on the proverbial head. Well done. My favorite Italian had a goal this week to “prove to America that (he) really can sing.” Don’t set your sights so high, Sanjaya. Just show up and we’ll keep voting for you. With slicked-back hair, a white suit and black shirt, the future superstar looked like he received a makeover from Ellen’s stylist. Singing “Cheek to Cheek,” the little flirt worked his way through the crowd winking, nodding and ultimately taking Paula for a quick spin before he returned to the stage for his big finish. Ever one to fold under the pressure of a little male attention the girl who brought us “Forever Your Girl” admitted she “get(s) why people love you…you’re charming.” Randy “couldn’t even comment on the vocals” but did admit he’s a “great entertainer.” And in one of his only good quips of the evening, Simon opined “let’s try a different tactic this week, incredible.” Incredible indeed. And the little train that could just keeps chugging along. If you’re worried that he’ll win, remember Chicken Little, John Stevens and Scott Savol all made it at least this far into the competition. Of course that was pre-Stern, so we’ll see.

At a rumored $750,000 per 30 seconds of ad time, do you think the producers really care who wins?

One thing’s for sure, it won’t be Haley Scarnato. The wedding singer, and I’m sure a very good one at that, sang an okay enough “Ain’t Misbehavin.” Thankfully, she pulled out the weapons of mass destruction again and likely earned herself a place in next week’s competition the old fashioned way…if you got it, flaunt it. She’s got it and Cowell likes it. All he could say was “I think you’ve got great legs.” She does indeed. And what’s sitting on top of them looks a whole lot better to the voters when it’s wrapped in short, tight and sparkling. If Haley can keep the focus on her WMDs she might have a few more weeks in her. Covering up at this point would most likely send her home, though I’m sure the fiancé wouldn’t mind that.

Again the pimp spot went to a favorite who some think hasn’t had a great couple of weeks. Though I disagree, I was thrilled to see Kiki wrap the seemingly endless hour up with a smokin’ hot “Stormy Weather.” Ever notice when there’s a song about a man who’s done her wrong, the ex-bank teller tears it apart. Think there’s a story there? Think there’s an ex whose crying real tears now that he sees what he let get away. You go, Kiki.

And go I must as well. Tonight it’s Tony Bennett live. I’m hoping for “I Wanna Be Around” or “Just the Way You Look Tonight.”

We’ll see.

In the meantime, get packing Phil. Haley and Blake will be joining you in the bottom three…but this week you would’ve won the bet.

Until next time.

Go, Kiki

Vote for Sanjaya.

Dussault, out.