Nick_Dussault's Blog

Ooh the top twelve – it’s getting good now.

When Seacrest (who sadly no longer uses his trademark Seacrest out signoff) promised a whole new look I thought he was referring to his funeral director suit and lack of frosted blonde Lance Bass-like locks. But alas, he was talking about the brand new set which looks to me like an amalgam of every set they’ve ever used with a hint of the beautiful set at FOX 25’s Dedham studio and a mosh pit. Can’t wait for the day Paula ends up in the pit.

 

But until then there’s a show to put on and last night they proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is collectively the most talented group ever. The theme was the Lennon – McCartney songbook…how much is Yoko extorting for this one? The night she showed up on Paul McCartney’s doorstep and he sent her to John Lennon’s house as a joke continues to be the most lucrative throwing of oneself at a rockstar in history, no? Didn’t the joke turn out to be on McCartney that night…and forever more?

 

But I digress.

 

Last night, American Idol was amazing. Syesha Mercado kicked off the show by showing off a flawless set of teeth. Those pearly whites are perfect. Her singing, not so much. She’ll make it to the next round but should probably start packing the whitening strips just in case.

 

Next up was Chikezie. I hate him because of the one name thing. Who does he think he is, Trenyce? He could deliver the most amazing performance ever and I’d still hate him for his lack of last name. Unfortunately, he came real close to astonishing last night with a “She’s A Woman” that’ll enable him to sail into next week with a legitimate shot at the big prize. If he only had a name.

 

Maybe Ramile Malubay can give him her last name. She’s not going to be needing it much longer. Dressed like a popular girl on class night, Ramile dedicated “In My Life” to all her “close friends who’ve left the show already.” The good news is she’s probably going to be available to go on Rosie’s Family Cruise with new bff Danny Noriega. The thought of those two parading around the upper deck is “TMTH” so let’s move on.

 

I’d buy Amway products from Jason Castro. There’s something so charming and likable about this kid. He sort of bored me to tears with “If I Fell” but I’m sure enough people did in fact fall for him so he, too, will be around for the next round.

 

Carly Smithson kicked it next with, to quote Randy, “a stellar performance” of the Beatles’ classic “Come Together”. She nearly brought the house down. Simon was reminded of “6 years ago exactly the same week Kelly Clarkson.” I agree and have nothing else to say except that I can’t stand when they show her husband’s tattooed face. Makes K-Fed look good.

 

In his little prequel, David Cook admitted that “you really have to be on your game” in this competition. Was he ever. With an “Eleanor Rigby” that rivaled any I’ve ever heard, David put himself on the short list of viable contenders. The 48 million dollar man thought it was “brilliant” and remarked “If this show remains a talent competition rather than a popularity contest, (David) could actually win this show.”     

 

Ditto Brooke White in my humble opinion. Not only did the authentically sweet young woman deliver a stunning “Let It Be,” but she actually acknowledged the band and the fact that this is “the big time.” People who take it seriously, behave appropriately and make smart song choices tend to do well. Don’t believe it? As Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.

 

What would make David Hernandez choose “I Saw Her Standing There?” And why would he talk about his job as a server at the Pizza Bistro? We’ve all read that old Dime-A-Dance David used to make 2,200 large on a good Friday night baring all at a gay strip club in Arizona. No way anybody making that kind of cash is going to sling sausage pizzas on the lunch shift…even at the Pizza Bistro. And I’m guessing he doesn’t really give a hoot about the girl he saw standing there either. Oh Dime-A-Dance, the truth will always set you free. Unless of course you’re Elliot Spitzer in which case the truth will get you in a whole lotta trouble and out of a job. But you’re not Silda’s husband, Dime. You need to lighten up and remember a lot of people will vote for you because you’re good looking. More still because you really can sing. And then there are those of us who will risk tendonitis hitting redial on the off-chance that a one-time dance hall (king) might just be the next American Idol.

 

I’d also get a kick out of watching Clive Davis and company trying to turn a genuine biker chick into a tween sensation but it’s not gonna happen. Amanda Overmeyer will probably stick around for awhile because she is, as Simon said, “a breath of fresh air” in the competition. She’s also genuinely talented and probably a lot of fun to hang with at the local biker bar. But she’s not gonna play the game. Sadly, watching her trying to navigate her way through a group hug is wildly entertaining, but it just proves she’s not Myley Cyrus enough to woo the major contingency of Idol voters.

 

Kristy Lee Cook, on the other hand, would be the perfect big sis for Hannah Montana but she’s hitting all the wrong notes on Idol. Simon called her countrified “Eight Days A Week” “horrendous” and likened her performance to “Dolly Parton on helium.” That pretty justifies his whopping paycheck. As for Kristy, she needs to think season six Haley Scarnato. If the cowgirl shows a little more skin she’ll probably make it to the tour and earn enough money to buy her horse back. Maybe Dime-A-Dance Hernandez can give her some pointers.

 

Speaking of strippers, in the Broadway musical “Gypsy” June and Louise have the most outrageous show biz mother of all time, Mama Rose. Rose leaves her husband, marries an agent and drags her kids cross country trying to make them stars. After watching videotape of little David Archuleta singing “And I Am Telling You” to the season one Idol finalists two weeks ago, it’s hard to shake the vision of Mama Rose living at casa Archuleta. Why would an 11-year old boy know the big diva number from “Dreamgirls”? And why would he chase down the American Idol finalists and perform it for them? And finally, why would Mama Rose just happen to be standing there with a videocamera capturing Baby June – I mean Baby David’s performance on videotape and saving it for the day he, too, would be an Idol contestant? It feels so wrong in that somebody call DSS way to me.

 

This poor kid’s been training so hard for this moment that the pressure’s making him crack. In his pre-performance film he claims he didn’t know anything about the Lennon-McCartney songbook. Didn’t he practically get crowned the next American Idol after singing “Imagine” two weeks ago? Oh David, don’t ruin Mama Rose’s big moment…you’re thisclose to making her dreams come true. Sing out Louise and for God’s sake don’t ever forget the lyrics again.

 

And why has this kid already had the pimp spot twice? Random schmandom, somebody wants him to win. How else can you explain the rumors about songwriters being told to write with him in mind? Hmm.

 

Oops, I almost forgot about Michael Johns. If it weren’t for his comment “you’re not a real musician if you haven’t been affected by the Beatles,” his appearance last night could’ve easily ended up on the cutting room floor of my mind. But he did say that so I say let’s keep him around for another week. He’s really talented…but I can never remember his name. Well at least he has two of them.

 

So tonight it’s gonna take an hour to kick one of these contestants off. I say bottom three will be Kristy Lee Cook, Syesha Mercado and Ramile Malubay who will ultimately get the boot.

 

And rounding out the hour will be a performance by Katharine McPhee and the announcement of this season’s mentors. Rumor has it one of them is Mariah Carey. Calm down Dime-A-Dance you’ll probably get the chance to meet Mimi. But so will Amanda Overmeyer and that my friends has the potential to be great television.

 

I really miss “Seacrest, out.”