Nick_Dussault's Blog

Has Idol jumped the shark?

It certainly seems like America’s favorite talent show has seen better days. If it weren’t for the stoner antics of Bong Boy Castro, last night would’ve been the most dreadfully dull moment since Melinda Doolittle retreated to the background. Ugh.

It was Rock & Roll Hall of Fame night which meant the final four got to choose two songs from the official list of the 500 most influential rock songs of all time – or something equally inane. Should be good news for the rocker, right? Not so fast.

I was psyched to hear David Cook was going to sing Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf” and he actually did a pretty good job with it. Nothing special, nothing to “make it his own” as the judges like to say, but it was better than “awight” to coin a Randy phrase. Apparently Paula was left with a big appetite for David Cook…will she ever learn?

My new favorite Syesha Mercado was next up with Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary.” Looking a lot like Tina, Syesha kicked it into high gear and wowed the crowd. Randy loved it. Paula mumbled something about happiness and Simon called it “screechy, a bad impersonation.” I can think of 42 million reasons why that man should be in a better mood but I guess after what came next, I’m glad he wasn’t.

Bong Boy chose a Bob Marley song…because he sounds so much like him? Because he’s the real deal? Because he’s a little white stoner kid who thinks he’s all that because he discovered Marley? Stop me when you find a plausible reason that dullard thinks he should be singing Marley – or anything else for that matter. He was “CATS” bad and this was supposedly his element. When Simon said “I don’t know what you’re thinking” Boy on Weed grinned and said “I was thinking Bob Marley.” I’m thinking he doesn’t think much unless he’s running out of weed…just saying.

And of course occupying the pimp spot yet again tonight is everyone’s favorite, little David Archuletta. Daddy chose “Stand By Me” for Davey’s first song and he even gave him some trite patter about singing the song alone in his room, then singing it to his dog (somebody call the ASPCA). Then he sang it like with all the flash of an asexual tween from Up With People and yet the judges loved it. After their rave reviews Davey gave us the Mrs. Shrek – I mean Melinda Doolittle – awe shucks shtick and went backstage to await daddy’s text message approval. Someone needs to tell little Davey to hire a professional manager before Daddy spends all his money and ruins his career. I’m willing to take bets on that one.

Next up was the return of David Cook with his stripped-down version of The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” (erroneously called Teenage Wasteland if you’re wondering). I liked it. A lot. I think the judges did too but Randy’s rantings and Paula’s swooning and asking for more Cook took up all the time. All Simon could say was “welcome back David Cook.” Indeed.

Syesha was next up with a stellar rendition of “A Change is Gonna Come.” Randy wasn’t so happy with it. Paula welcomed her to “your dream” and Simon, hold onto your hats, made us wait for his pronouncement that he agreed with…Paula. Yahoo.

Bong Boy was next with yet another nod to a Bob. This time it was Bob Dylan and the song was “Mr. Tambourine Man.” Good choice, great start, but the little weed whacker forgot the lyrics. The dude who looks like the love child of Whoopi Goldberg and John Travolta has zero brain activity and even less interest in this potentially life-changing competition. Maybe he can’t function because it’s hard to score weed in the Idol house. Hmm… Simon told him to pack his suitcase. Seriously, dude, think about it.

Rounding out the night was little Davey doing Daddy’s final choice, Elvis Presley’s “Love Me Tender.” I guess this one was for all the girls who think they’ve actually got a shot. Think pre-pubescent Claymates, if you know what I mean. It was creepy. He has no charisma, no star quality and ZERO sex appeal. It almost feels dirty using his name and sex in the same story. Yet somehow Simon must see dollar signs down the road for the little man with the big bad daddy. Why else would he have said “you crushed the competition tonight.” He didn’t. But Simon says…

We’re getting close to the end and I haven’t been right yet this season. I’m going to break the streak tonight with the easiest call of the season.

Say good night Jason Castro…you Buffalo Soldier, Dreadlock Rasta, you.