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by jonsmom

Last Post 1 day, 17 hours Ago


This is the Way it's Supposed to be-I guess
Jun 5, 2008 | 9:55 PM
Category: News
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I never lived alone. I never lived with friends. Unless of course you count the summers spent in Nova Scotia at my friends' camp. I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. I don't know the experience of having my own place. That might be one of the reasons I'm struggling with the fact that my two youngest sons, my babies so to speak, are moving out. Yup, they're moving on.  Maybe struggling isn't the right word.  Well, maybe it is. 

They're getting an apartment in Arlington together with a friend.  It came out of nowhere.  One day we're sitting talking and all of a sudden one of them said to the other "When are you going to be able to go look at the apartment?".  I said "What apartment?".  "Oh" he said, "the one we're going to move to."  Now I know they have been talking for awhile about moving.  Saying it's the right thing to do, it's time, etc.  But I never expected the conversation to be so nonchalant. 

I should be used to them not being around.  Jon was away with the Army for over a year and Bryant doesn't spend a whole lot of nights at home.  But having their stuff here has always been reassuring that they would be back.  Now they're packing up and going.  It's been a whirlwind.  It started with conversation and wham, they have already hit Craigslist and furnished their living room and kitchen.  Jon went out and bought the kitchen essentials, coffee pot, toaster etc.  We were in Maine the other day and I bought them all their utensils and such.  It's all happening so fast.  The reality of it really struck me when I found out they already have the cable guy coming.  The cable guy.   It is real.  They're getting their first month's rent free because they're going to do some carpentry work and painting around the apartment.  They're also helping the owner move out, and her being a dentist, are getting free teeth cleanings.  It's all working out well for them.  But for me?  I guess I'll manage and get used to it.  But for now, I'm in a sort of mourning.  I always thought I was looking forward to this day.  I was wrong.  My babies are all grown up and it's hitting me kind of hard.  I guess this is a new chapter for all of us. 

I know they'll only be a few towns away but I'll miss having them around.  We try to have at least two or three meals a week when we're all here.  I'll miss the "What's for dinner?".  I'll miss their arguing (did I just say that?).  I'll miss them both.  Just today when I was folding laundry Jon walked up to me and randomly gave me a hug and thanked me for being such a good mom.  I'll miss that.   I guess this is what it's all about.  We raise them to be independent and watch them walk out our door, leaving us behind.  I can only hope and pray they will bring all the lessons we have taught them and use them well. 
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Member Comments Total Comments: 7
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Chip read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 5:51 AM

jonsmom,

You wilo not be behind. You will be in a newer more important place of honor. They will come home with proud stories of success, and for advice in new dillemmas. They will learn just how much you did for them.

They wil love you and honor you and be with you, and you with them.

My Mpom has been dead for over a decade, and she still walks with me daily. I am not alone, nor is she.
fenwaydav read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 7:50 AM

Just knowing you through the blogs out here I can tell you did the best you could with Jon and his brother. The rest is up to them. A little tip. Still cook the way they were still in the house. If they drop by fine otherwise freeze it and send it home with them when you see them. Know matter how independent they are, No one cooks like Mommy. Now start getting ready for your Cruise and relax. They'll do fine and so will you.
kayleisnana read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 11:24 AM

jonsmom, I, too, have never lived on my own. I actually have never even had a room to call my own. Before my sister was born, I shared a bedroom with my brother, then, after she was born, he got moved to another room, and in she came. I got married when I was 21, and for the last 34 years, have shared my life and my bedroom with my husband. I had 3 daughters within 4 years(now 32,30 and 28). When my oldest daughter came home at 18 and informed me that she had found an apartment, that she was moving out, I almost had a heart attack. I wasn't prepared for this. I fought with her, I cried, and I gave her every reason in the book why she shouldn't leave. She went anyway, and I got over it. My middle daughter decided she wanted to go, so, after a "talk", she left. By the time the third one was ready, I asked her if she needed help--When are you going? No tears! Trust me, they NEVER leave--I still cook for them VERY often, I talk to all three of them on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times and I see my grandchildren also on a daily basis. So, don't fret, enjoy your FREE time. They'll be around more often than you think!!!! :) You will actually find you will become their friend, now, and not just their mother! It is actually very enjoyable!!! You do get used to it. :)
jonsmom read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 12:07 PM

Thanks guys. I appreciate the support. It's nice to know that people who used to be strangers have an interest in what's going on with me.
Chip,
They're moving in on Sunday and have already invited me over for dinner on Monday. No mention of who's cooking yet though. lol.
And Dave,
I was talking about that very thing with my husband the other day. I was saying that some of the meals I normally cook will get smaller but most won't. There'll always be enough for all of us. We just won't eat them at the same table. And you're right about a mom's cooking. I still love certain things my mom used to cook (and my dad) and when I make them myself they don't come close to being as good.
Kayleisnana,
I too married young (22) and have lived with my husband longer (28 yrs)than I did with my parents. I'll take comfort in your statement that they never leave. I actually still have one more at home but he's older and lives his own life. Not sure he has any intention of moving out yet but maybe after a little while it will be time for me to bring it up to him rather than the other way around.
Thanks again guys for your opinions. They really do mean a lot to me.
kayleisnana read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 1:59 PM

I still cook the same amount as I did when my girls were all living at home--I guess it's just habit. Also, it's funny how you mention trying to cook like your mom did. At my age(55), I am very fortunate to still have both my parents alive and very healthy. They both continue to work and do quite well for themselves. My grandmother only passed away just within the past ten years, but the one thing I remember about her is her cooking! Every Sunday she would make her pot roast. I can still smell it to this day. I don't know what she did, or how she did it, but it was the best smelling and best tasting pot roast ever! I have tried and tried and I can't come close! She also made the best mac and cheese. My sister almost has it perfected, but, it's still not quite 100%--It's not Nana's!! I honestly believe it was "the pan" she used--it was always done in the same pan! Maybe someday, my kids will remember my cooking that way!
jonsmom read my blog view my photos
Jun 6, 2008 | 10:11 PM

My mom made great mac and cheese when I was a kid.
I stole her recipe and tweaked it a bit. My kids actually like mine better. My dad was a fantastic cook and taught me everything I know, just not everything he knew. He was from Texas and made unbelievable southern fried chicken and chile. They have a parade for Halloween in Woburn and when I was a kid we'd all go to the parade and then everyone would go back to my house and my dad would make a feast of chicken and chile.
I bet your kids will say you're the best cook ever. Fenwaydav is right. Nothing beats mom's cooking.
kayleisnana read my blog view my photos
Jun 7, 2008 | 8:54 AM

Did your Dad make baked beans? Oh, my God, the lady across the street from us, when I was growing up, was from Virginia, and she made the BEST baked beans in the world!!!! And her Southern Fried chicken--to die for!!!!!
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jonsmom

I'm Judy. I'm turning 50 this year. I've set some goals for myself. Pay down my debt and get healthy. That means eating better, going to the gym and quitting smoking. The big day is in August so I'm hoping to have achieved most of what I'd like to do by then. Wish me luck.

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