jonsmom's Blog

What is wrong with people?  I just don't get it.   A mother in Salem, New Hampshire was arrested for drunk driving after her kids went into a restaurant for help.  Seems Mom passed out at the wheel.  The car was running, in drive and she had her foot on the break.   Thank God the kids, five and nine, were smart enough to get out of the car and go for help.  I shudder to think what could have happened to them had she passed out while she was driving.  Or even if her foot slipped off the brake before they got out of the car.  Or if it slipped off the brake when they were in front of the car.  This woman needs a smack upside the head.  I am so sick of hearing about innocent children being put in harm's way by their whack job parents.  When you are blessed with a child, unlike so many people, it is your responsiblity to keep them safe.  Then to find out she's released on $500 bail.  Whoever bailed her out is nuts.  She should have been left in jail.  Obviously these children are used to it.  When asked about the incident one of the children said something to the effect of "Mom's ok, she's just drunk". 

I received this in an email.   If you've seen it before sorry but I think it bears repeating.  If you've never seen it - Enjoy!!!

London Times Obituary

An obituary printed in the London Times......intersting and sadly, rather true.

Today,  we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.  No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

*     Knowing when to come in out of the rain

*     Why the early bird gets the worm

*     Life isn't always fair

*     And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).  His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a six year-old charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; a teacher fired for reprimandeing an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly child.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parens when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.  Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.  Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility and his son Reason.

He is survived by his four stepbrothers:

*     I Know My Rights

*    I Want it Now

*    Someone Else is to Blame

*    I'm a Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.  If you still remember him, pass this on.  If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Below I have listed the temperature forecast for Baghdad, Iraq.  If the children of America can't take a day in school when the temperatures are in the 80's and 90's it looks like our military will end with the current generation joining now. 

     Today         99° / 76°

Friday       101° / 78°

Saturday104° / 82°

Sunday   106° / 82°

The next time you are about to complain about the temperature, take a few minutes and say a prayer for our troops.  They sure could use them. I got the one below in a chain email.  It only takes a second.
'Lord, please hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'
The temperature in Afghanistan is a little lower, low 90's but I think it gets a little cooler there at night.  Still, when thinking about our troops, don't just think of the ones in Iraq.  Think of the ones all over the world who are away from their families.

I never lived alone. I never lived with friends. Unless of course you count the summers spent in Nova Scotia at my friends' camp. I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. I don't know the experience of having my own place. That might be one of the reasons I'm struggling with the fact that my two youngest sons, my babies so to speak, are moving out. Yup, they're moving on.  Maybe struggling isn't the right word.  Well, maybe it is. 

They're getting an apartment in Arlington together with a friend.  It came out of nowhere.  One day we're sitting talking and all of a sudden one of them said to the other "When are you going to be able to go look at the apartment?".  I said "What apartment?".  "Oh" he said, "the one we're going to move to."  Now I know they have been talking for awhile about moving.  Saying it's the right thing to do, it's time, etc.  But I never expected the conversation to be so nonchalant. 

I should be used to them not being around.  Jon was away with the Army for over a year and Bryant doesn't spend a whole lot of nights at home.  But having their stuff here has always been reassuring that they would be back.  Now they're packing up and going.  It's been a whirlwind.  It started with conversation and wham, they have already hit Craigslist and furnished their living room and kitchen.  Jon went out and bought the kitchen essentials, coffee pot, toaster etc.  We were in Maine the other day and I bought them all their utensils and such.  It's all happening so fast.  The reality of it really struck me when I found out they already have the cable guy coming.  The cable guy.   It is real.  They're getting their first month's rent free because they're going to do some carpentry work and painting around the apartment.  They're also helping the owner move out, and her being a dentist, are getting free teeth cleanings.  It's all working out well for them.  But for me?  I guess I'll manage and get used to it.  But for now, I'm in a sort of mourning.  I always thought I was looking forward to this day.  I was wrong.  My babies are all grown up and it's hitting me kind of hard.  I guess this is a new chapter for all of us. 

I know they'll only be a few towns away but I'll miss having them around.  We try to have at least two or three meals a week when we're all here.  I'll miss the "What's for dinner?".  I'll miss their arguing (did I just say that?).  I'll miss them both.  Just today when I was folding laundry Jon walked up to me and randomly gave me a hug and thanked me for being such a good mom.  I'll miss that.   I guess this is what it's all about.  We raise them to be independent and watch them walk out our door, leaving us behind.  I can only hope and pray they will bring all the lessons we have taught them and use them well. 

I got this in an email and thought some people might enjoy it.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decora ting his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebro ws groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each  night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if ...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!

Awhile back I shared with you the winners of the Darwin Award.  Here are some more stories, mostly in retail (surprise, surprise) that you may enjoy.    I don't know if these are true but if so it's scary. 

They Walk Among Us:

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64  charge.
I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave  the  money
back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.  She
became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew  what she was
doing, and returned the money again.  I gave her the Money  back .... same
scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us!
I walked  into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande
Latte.  I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard
that said  "buy one-get one free."  "They're already buy-one-get-one-free,"
she said, "so  I guess they're both free".

She Handed  me my free Lattes and I  walked out the door.


They Walk Among Us!
While  looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't  want the sun waking
him  up every morning.  She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"  When
my brother explained that the sun rises in the East,  and has for sometime,
she shook her head  and said, "Oh I don't keep up  with all that stuff."



They Walk Among Us!!
I  used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got
a  call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was  open. I
told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a  week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific t i me?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh,  Pacific."



They Walk Among Us!


My sister has a  lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat
belt if she gets  trapped.  She keeps it in the trunk.



They Walk Among  Us!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the  cases were
discounted 10%.  Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.  The  cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20%  discount.



They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my  luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and  told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not  to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands.  "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"